Monday, September 19, 2011

From Fear to Faith

As soon as I got back to Lima at the end of August, I joined a spinning class that is offered at a park near my apartment.  I've never been to a spinning class in the States, so I'm not sure how this one compares, but as I'm cycling, I frequently think about how the class relates to the Christian life.

As we listen to various renditions of rock music from the 80's and 90's, our instructor shouts instructions and encouragement.  There are three positions that we rotate between - "siéntate" (sitting), "segunda" (standing), and "tercera" (standing and leaning forward).  She lets us know when to change position, when to speed up ("escápate"- escape), and when we should "aumentar la resistencia" (add resistance).

During the times when we're supposed to be cycling at high speeds or with the highest resistance, doubting and frustrated thoughts creep in as I struggle to do what I'm told.  I don't trust that the instructor knows what's best.  I don't trust that when she says, "ocho más" (eight more), she's actually counting and will let us quit after eight more.  I think about ways that I can keep my resistance low and make it look like I'm working harder than I am.  I wonder what the others around me are doing.  Are they "cheating" or are they working hard?  I think to myself that I would work hard and give 100% if I knew what was coming next.  I want to know that if I give 100%, I'll still have some left for the rest of class.

And isn't that exactly how we treat God sometimes?  He is our instructor; our perfect instructor.  He knows without a doubt what's best for us.  He knows what trials we must go through in order to be more like Him and in order to accomplish His purpose for us.  He knows exactly how to get us in shape, but we resist.  We try to find an easier way out, a way with less resistance.  We don't trust that He knows what He's doing.  We want to know what's coming next, and we try to control the situation and determine what's best for ourselves.

Just like ignoring the spinning instructor and taking short cuts prevents us from getting stronger, and may even injure us, ignoring God has serious consequences, too.  We don't grow to be more like Him, and we choose ways that lead us into sins that hurt us and others.

When I become overwhelmed by the future and what it might hold, fear starts to creep in.  "What will I do next year?" "What if God calls me to the mission field abroad forever?" "What if he doesn't?" "What will I do when something happens to my family?"  "What if I never get married?" "What will this year bring?"  Fear leads to insecurity, desperation, lack of hope, and many other harmful feelings.  But Jesus' words to the ruler of the synagogue in Mark 5:36 speak to all of these fears and their manifestations, "Do not fear, only believe."  

God is faithful, and even if the future seems uncertain and scary, we can trust completely in our God who created us, redeemed us, and daily renews us.  Even if we don't know what we'll have to do next or go through next, we know that it is for our good and that God will not abandon us in our time of need.  May God give us the faith we need to follow Him wherever He leads, no matter the amount of resistance or how fast we have to go or how long we must endure.  We need not fear; we must only believe.

"Do not fear, for I am with you.  Do not be dismayed, for I am your God.  I will strengthen you and help you.  I will uphold you with my righteous right hand." Isaiah 41:10